Ten years is quite a birthday for the Web. It has been said that the measure of the passing of time is how long the last electronic gadget takes to become the last-but-one. The train goes fast. I boarded the Web train as soon as I heard of it. I like writing, I like communication, my age sets limits for me, the keyboard calls, and all that took me to the Web. Blessed moment. I began only in Spanish and once a month. I had to measure strength and find my balance. I soon saw one month was too long a gap and I made it fifteen days. And then in English. Those were the beginnings. I placed my address at the beginning of my books, and readers began reading.

There are millions of Webs in Internet. I like to think mine is a bit different from most. I once defined it as “My Web is me every fifteen days.” A bit arrogant, perhaps, and, naturally, it does not interest those who are not interested in me, but, for the same reason, it does interest those who like my books and my ideas and my person, and they like to meet me electronically from time to time. Just as I, too, like to meet my readers in the quick, informal, direct, simple style of the Web and its mail. For me the Web is a new literary genre which we are learning as we go on inventing it. It is not a book, a letter, a newspaper, a speech, a biography, a history. It is something different which is taking shape in our hands as we go on enjoying our creation. The joy of creation.

I read much in order to write a little. I have to cull quotations, anecdotes, stories that touch me, as I see that what touches me touches all of you too. And then I’ve realised that what you like most is real experiences in my life and the reflections I weave around them. That makes me pay attention to my own life to make extensive to you whatever reaches me.

The mail born in the Web is the best part of it. I personally read every message carefully, think about it in love, answer it in detail. Some send me a first exploratory message to make sure I am the one who answers, and the real message comes only later. I’ve never had a secretary, and personal communication is sacred to me. I give to it all the time and the love it is asking for. I remember many names, I recall situations and consultations, I sometimes grow impatient as I am asked questions nobody can answer, when in fact what matters is not the answer as such but the fact of the communication in itself. The contact, however virtual it may be, the conversation, the greetings, the kiss itself that brings warmth to the message through the cybernetic bits. Thanks for reading me, they say. Thanks for writing, I answer. I say it from the heart. Every message is an encounter. The communication is a value in itself.

I open the email with anticipation every morning. That is the first task of my working day. These are the four questions you ask me more often.

1. Why is there so much suffering in the world? Why do good people suffer? Why has God permitted that my daughter should die? I begin by checking the language. It was the theologians that invented the expression that God “does” some things (the good ones) and “permits” others (the bad ones), that is that if a plane flies properly that is because God “makes” it fly properly, and if it crushes with two hundred passengers on board that is because God “permits” it to crush. No such distinction. The fact is that God does everything in everything and everybody, he does it cooperating with the created being that takes part in the same action, whether it be the human being acting in freedom or the tree growing in its strength…, or again the lightning that strikes the tree and kills it. God does not “permit” the lightning to strike, but the lightning that kills the tree comes from the hand of God just as well as the rain that gave it life had come from the same blessed hands. Let us be clear about it. God’s omnipotence joins human freedom, and human life results. Suffering shapes us, draws us close to each other, makes us take life seriously, teaches us to appreciate joy. I have suffered in my life, and that gives me the right to accompany those who suffer. Not a day passes without the email bringing me some witness of personal suffering, and that gives weight to my life and seriousness to my joy. The answer to suffering does not lie in explaining it but in accepting it and sharing it. I always answer such queries from the heart. Thank you for sharing with me the hardships of life.

2. Why is the Church doing so badly? She truly is. I’ve done what I could do as a writer. I’ve written a book about it and that is my contribution. I touched in it all that I thought needed correction in the Church, called it “Dear Church” as it is written with love and concern, and had it published. It was published only in Spanish because the English publisher rejected it. I wrote on the lack of transparency in the Church, the loss of credibility, the teaching on sex, the guilt complex, the unfairness to women, the alienation of youth, priestly celibacy, the vocation crisis. A friend told me that my book would be of no use. I answered him I know my book was not going to change the Church, but it did satisfy my own conscience. I had done my duty. The Church at present holds on popular devotion, on the extreme right associations, and on the travels and audiences of the pope that give it visibility but cannot give it the credibility, authority, and exemplarity she truly needs. The Church in her universality, her influence, and her mission in the world is going through a crisis. And on top of it she gets angry when we tell her so. 

3. What are we to do for our children to acquire Christian values? To practice them yourselves as parents, and to say so before your children. “See, my child, I could tell a lie here and pay less money, but I don’t tell lies because a lie harms society and lowers your own credibility; I could remain in bed and not go to mass, but I know that going to the church helps me to be a better person; I could forget about the poor, but I understand that to help them as far as I can is my duty as well as my own satisfaction as a person.” Let them see you doing it and hear you saying it.

4. “Formerly I used to feel much devotion in prayer and at mass, but now I feel dry.” I always remind you of the relationship in a happily married couple. Their golden jubilee is not quite the same as their honeymoon. Each time has its own mood. And never get discouraged.

And then come all the eternal questions whether to marry or not to marry, to separate or not to separate, to join the novitiate or not to join, to stay or to quit…. I always take each question seriously, I let myself be questioned by them, and then I answer with all my sincerity and all my love. And one thing, by the way. Only too often I send my answer as reply to the sender, and it comes back unsent. The address had not been properly spelled and the electronic postman does not allow for errors. And I have no other way to communicate. The person in question is left thinking I haven’t answered them, while it was their fault in not writing their address properly. I feel annoyed but I can do nothing about it.