[This is the homily I preached at the funeral mass of the mother of some friends of mine on 30 May 2008.]
We’ve gathered here today with the daughters and the family of Carmen in their remembrance of their mother, as also in the memory and love for all our mothers, whether they are still with us or have already departed. They are the best life has given us, and they inspire our own life and help us in all our labours. My mother died on 31 May, that is tomorrow’s date, eleven years ago, and I unite her memory to your memory of your mother.
Margarita tells me how their mother looked after them in difficult days with total dedication, delicacy, efficiency in their home. She didn’t know any dress making, but for her daughters’ dresses she would make them lie down on the cloth, wind it round them and cut it accordingly to fashion a new dress. She ran the house as her full time job with love and care for all always.
St Paul, who knew well his Old Testament, reminds the Ephesians that the fourth commandment, honour your father and mother, has something special to it. It is the only one that has a promise attached to it. Other commandments are mere prohibitions, while the fourth commandment is positive and says: “Honour your father and mother, that you may be happy and your days may be lengthened on earth.” As you have so well looked after your mother, you have received that biblical blessing.
I lived fifty years in India and never wanted to come back to Spain. My mother, on turning 90 and remaining alone, asked me to come back, and I did so. When I would ask her, “Mother, how are you?”, she would always answer, “With you by my side I’m fine, my son.” Company in old age is the best possible service to the old. She lived to be 101. I’ve been left with the satisfaction to have fulfilled the fourth commandment with all my heart. You, all of Carmen’s family, are also entitled to that full satisfaction.
The apostle St James says something rather strong in his epistle: “He, who breaks a commandment, breaks all of them, as God who enjoined it, enjoined all the others as well.” I, with all respect and some Jesuitical logic, argue back: “And he, who keeps one commandment, keeps all, as God who enjoined one, enjoined all the others as well.” I tell you this that you may rejoice at the memory of all that you so well did for your mother, of which we all here are witnesses, and may feel proud and consoled by that thought. And now that same idea leads you to keep on dealing in the best possible way with all around you for the same blessing. That is life’s great lesson. And death’s great lesson too. Not to let anyone depart without having shown our love to them in full.
Today is the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Devotion to the Sacred Heart was held in great esteem in our youth. Now the word has been devalued in the heart press and television. But its value remains. I remind you of its three thrusts: consecration, reparation, propagation. Consecration is what we now call commitment; reparation is the effort to make up for the violence and hatred all around us in the world; and propagation is the effort to bring love and joy to all.
May the memory of Carmen, your mother, keep this ideal alive in you and in all of us.
